In Which I’ve Been Up to No Good Again


My Good Ol’ Photoshop in Action (Painter tab is minimised there)
Again, it’s a Reborn! fanart. What else do I draw this past few months? Lol.

I’m finally updating this blog after a long while. My inconsistency astounds even myself, and that’s pure sarcasm right there. Hur. I’ve been updating my Livejournal, Dreamwidth and some other logs, but not my main blog. What a shame. Since I’m still lazy to construct proper paragraphs, I’ll just write in bullet points.

  • Rikaichan has been pampering me way too much and now I’m lazier than ever to browse through my dictionary for unfamiliar kanji characters.
  • I just realised that I can now understand 98% of fast Japanese speech in J-Dramas/Anime without looking at the dictionary. This helps when I’m watching (more like listening to, actually) Zetsubou-sensei’s random tales dripping with pure poisonous sarcasm. Who said self-teaching doesn’t pay off, huh?
  • Japanese writing skills have improved at least 50% more now that I have a bilingual Japanese/English fanwork site to maintain. Replying to visitor comments, e-mails and webclap comments helps a lot.
  • My drawing skills are improving steadily although they still suck like there’s no tomorrow.
  • I may need to buy a new tablet before going back to Malaysia. Problem? I’m broke. Broke. BROKE!! *sobs*
  • I think my Linguist 307 assignment was CRAP. Oh well, the subject IS crap anyway.
  • I should be doing my Langtchg 302 assignment, but I’m still procrastinating
  • I’ve been reclaiming all blog posts that I can retrieve from my old domains via Wayback Machine. It’s a great, great help. I’m feeling nostalgic just looking at those old sites. Greymatter, b2, Movable Type and Newspro days! How nostalgic indeed~
  • Services offered by FC2, Ninja Tools and a few other sites ROCK!! I’ll be perusing the web for more similar awesomeness.

Before I forget:


Now I wonder how long it’s going to take until my next update.

Back to Basic Anatomy and Background Drawing Practice


– Raine, Ian and Kyouko are my latest victims of anatomy drawing practice –
Sucks like there’s no tomorrow, I know. Shuttup, lol.

I’ve settled all debts with WSA. They better not be coming up with more random debts that I have to pay, or I’ll seriously scream bloody murder this time around.I didn’t check this blog for a few days and interesting spams landed in the spam folder. It seems like spams are geting cleverer with each passing day, but not clever enough to get as Akismet and Intense Debate. Good, all good.

Art: Once upon a time, I used to have a good sense of anatomy for drawing. I used to be good at drawing backgrounds too. If I could just find my three-chapter manga, fully coloured that I made when I was in Form 2, I’m sure they’d look a lot better compared to the ones I make now. The keyword here is ‘used to’, of course. I guess all of my previously acquired skills rotted away because I didn’t pay attention to them enough. Drawing a simple Bridge of Venice is a hassle now. What a shame.

I feel the need to start over and practice more. I’ve left my six-year-old Deviantart account (~sirius-angel) for a new one (=toffeepops) to start afresh. The journal feature is very useful for my random art musing, but random oekaki/sketch log will remain at Pixiv. I still couldn’t find anything better than Livedoor/ Blogger Alliance blogs when it comes to oekaki blog service.

Speaking of anatomy, I wonder if I should re-install Poser Figure Artist or just stick to Posemaniacs. The latter is probably the best online reference ever.

Languages: While my command of Japanese is getting better (but I don’t have time and money for this year’s JLPT), my Italian and Spanish are dying. I keep being confused between Italian, Spanish and French words. A small mistake could lead to my whole sentence being written in a different language than the one I originally intended for it to be. Sucks. Also, I think it’s high time I start learning to read and write Thai. Knowing how to speak the language alone is not enough anymore. I need to be able to write and read as well – for my own satisfaction.

Hosting: Ugh, I’m still at Media Temple. I have two weeks if I want to move out, but seriously I haven’t been able to come to a firm decision! Sad, sad, sad…

Oekaki Shi Painter Plugin Version 1.2 for WordPress (For WP 2.6 up until WP 2.8.1)


Painted with the plugin

1. Plugin Info

Original Author: Yakumo

Applet by: Shi-chan

Additional colour pallete by: Wonder Cat Studios (of the good ‘ol BBSNote and PictureBBS)

It’s really not true when I thought there’s no effort to make Oekaki readily accessible for us WordPress users. This wonderful Shi Painter Plugin for WordPress is made by Yakumo-san with the original Shi-chan’s Shi Painter applet. This plugin is made and tested with the Japanese version of WordPress 2.6, but I tested this with WordPress 2.8 and then 2.8.1. It works purrrfectly.

Additionally, you can download and install Dynamic Pallete by Wonder Cat Studios (download DynPallete.lzh HERE), so long as your computer has the capability to extract files in UTF-8 mode, you’ll be fine. I don’t recommend using WinZip or WinRar. Get either Zipeg or 7zip to get the job done.

2. Installing the Plugin

You can download the plugin, the applet and the pallete separately or click the link provided below for the plugin. The .zip file contains the plugin and the applet.

Shi Painter Plugin Version 1.2 by Yakumo (911) - 270.72 kB

If you want the extra colour pallete, visi WCS by clicking on the link provided in the plugin info and unzip pallete.js in the same directory as the SP plugin. Please do leave a comment if it works or if it doesn’t work for you.

For WordPress 2.7 and above, install the plugin by using the plugin installer and activate it. Now, continue with configuration and using the plugin.

Continue reading →

In Which I’m Feeling Geeky, Giddy and Fangirly


Web Diary Professional with PaintBBS & Shi-Painter/Shi-Painter Pro integration
私の新しいシンプルなP-MEMOです:) これからもっとお絵かきをする! (LINK)

I wonder if there are English versions of their softwares, because all of them are really cool~ It’s a bit sad that you need to understand Japanese in order to fully utilise their scripts. I spent one day getting Web Clap and Web Diary Pro to work (because I desperately want to use the integrated PaintBBS, Shi-Painter and Shi-Painter Pro that WordPress and Wacintaki Poteto have been depriving me of). After hours of getting either ‘500 Internal Server Error’ or ‘403 Forbidden’ and a few more hours of tweaking the skin files, I now have a fully working Oekaki Log (or P-Memo, which sounds cuter). I’m so happy, because now my oekaki belongs to only me instead of a whole community. The fact that it’s actually a blog is a big plus.

I was deciding between Nicky!, Web Memory and Web Diary Pro for a few days before settling on the last of the three. Nicky! is pretty decent, but not as flexible as WDP. If you’re thinking of installing your own oekaki blog, I recommend WDP to the extreme (LOL). Here’s some extra bits of information to those who aren’t familiar with web claps and the likes:

  • Web Clap: It’s widely installed on Japanese sites, including blogs (like those hosted by FC2). Webclap is simply a script that let visitors ‘applaud’ your website content. They can also leave comments if they want to. It’s like the karma system, only web clap means giving good karma. I wonder if they have something like Web Boo! for the opposite effect. Hahaha.
  • Oekaki: The downside to being familiar with oekaki is not knowing how to exlain what it is, like what I’m feeling. Just think of it as drawing using Java appletsand then publishing the piece of art as a blog entry (or in a more popular case, pictures on bulletin boards). See, I suck at explaning what oekaki is, so feel free to Google it up if you need more info. PaintBBS, Shi-Painter and Shi-Painter Pro (the last is my favourite) are three most famous applets ever created for this purpose. Why the heck isn’t it integrated with WordPress yet?! EDIT: Finally found the most useful Oekaki plugin! Details in this post 😀


adlina-avatarAs I was working on the scripts, I drew myself a brand new avatar. I think is decent. I don’t know. It might be one of the most decent avatars I’ve ever made for myself.

Notice that all of them are in the same colour scheme. This is because I’ve designed for them to be integrated into my fanwork gallery, Toffeepops. Yup, that’s my finalised circle name. The last was discarded, and I registered under Toffeepops instead. It’s cute anyway. Toffeepops is multi-hosted, but the main gateway is hosted by 2Style, under the domain Sweety.Jp. I wanted Psycho.Jp, but I made a very stupid mistake… by giving them the wrong e-mail address. Moron. This is a part of Project Catharsis and the simplest site I’ve planned/made since 2004. It’s like going back to basics – less coding, more styling. Lol.

Okay, I can’t stay awake. I need to go to sleep for a while even though it’s only 7.55pm.

Because I Can’t Not Categorise Love


Or it could be that I think too much. Lately, my mother has been pestering me about the matters of love to no ends. Always reminding me that Allah created us to love and be loved. Always reminding me that I need someone in my life other than immediate family – to love. Always reminding me that I can’t survive on her love alone forever. Always reminding me that I need to learn to love, and to learn to accept love.

I may be able to learn to love, but I honestly think it would be hard for me to learn to accept love. I’m the type who thinks too much at times, and doesn’t want to think sometimes. I wish I could be as outgoing and joyful as some of my friends. I tried. I failed. It’s not about confidence or even the classic “I’m overweight and not pretty and a geek and cannot mix well with people” either. No. I don’t care about that. I’m not pressured either. Heck, what do you think? My beloved best friend is underweight and fair and pretty and cute (I hope she’s not reading this) and of mixed blood (not that I’m not one myself, but still) and more, you’d think I’d be feeling so low just to stand by her if I shoot myself down based on looks.

Based on the paragraph above, you can see how I think too much even when I only meant to say ‘I don’t care much’. You get the picture. That’s the kind of person I am. I describe things to much. Think about them too much. When it comes to emotional matters, it only gets worse.

For me, love comes in types. I categorise people in my live into different love types. There you go. It’s because I categorise people that I’m this way. I hate crowds. I prefer doing tasks on my own, so I’m worried about myself because my profession clearly states me to be more social. When Mom tells me to ‘try accepting xxx feelings’, I told her that I’d feel weird that way. It’s like trying to allow someone into my small circle of love. My brain has this weird schema where I put myself at the center of a circle, surrounded by layers much similar to our earth itself. The innermost layers are my family, and then my best friends, and then my friends. Where in that layer would,say, a boyfriend fit into? It’s like trying to destroy an established equilibrium. Now let’s look at my types of love:

  1. Filial
    It’s the special kind of love I have for my parents. The way I feel about them cannot be compared, or even described. It’s the greatest kind of love you can have for another human being. That’s why I can never understand or comprehend people who tell their lovers “You’re the one I love most in the whole world”. That mentality alone disgusts me. Filial love cannot be replaced. Never. I was rebellious, I know I sometimes still am. Really. This love I have for them is the type that always instantly gets me into ‘guilty, suicidal mode’ when I defy them or think of defying them.
  2. Familial
    The love I feel for my brothers, sisters-in-law, nephews and nieces. And probably my close extended family members as well, like my aunts and uncles and cousins. It’s almost like loyalty. No matter how much they annoy me, I can never come close to hating them. True, I could say “Dammit, I fucking hate you” to my brothers, but we all know I don’t mean it. My brothers are both hot headed. They were almost always at each others throat up until they grew into working adults and got married. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy sometimes, when they’d e-mail me or text me or just called me all the way from Malaysia just to see what I’m doing. Not that I’d ever tell them. My niece and nephews, though we seldom see each other, they have this cute attachment to me. Always calling me name and asking me stuff when we have the chance to see each other on Skype. Hmm.
  3. Platonic
    The love I feel for my best friends (and possibly, crushes). Close, intimate, affectionate – but never romantic. We tolerate all those jokes. We take less than an hour to get back on good terms when we offend each other. We care when one of us gets sick. We relate some things to each other when we go shopping, something like “Hey, this shirt will suit [insert name here] really well!” or “Doesn’t that remind you of [name here]? That’s so her/his style!” It’s the same as familial – just that we’re not related by blood. I can name a few, like Mira, Hanin, Khairiyyah, Keith… yes, yes, you guys are my light. And a few others. Even this one guy
  4. Romantic
    The kind of love I think people feel towards their boyfriends/ girlfriends/ spouses. This is in a different teritory all together. I’ve never sit in this zone. I’ve never felt like wanting to build a warm, loving family with someone. Truthfully, I am scared of this type of love. Romantic love, to me, have its branches. I’m afraid of possessive love the most – the one where you have an unhealthy feeling of wanting someone only for yourself and vice versa. There’s just a lot of things about romantic love that I’m scared of. I… can’t help it.
  5. Respect
    The kind of love I feel for friends, and sometimes, some guys I had a crush on. Respect is a lot like love, and maybe even loyalty too. I don’t take sides. If friend A and friend B are at each other’s throats, I don’t take sides. If they should choose me as someone to confide in, I’ll listen to both sides of the story and keep what I know to myself. I respect them that way. I’ll feel concerned if something happens to any of them. I don’t pry more than I’m allowed to know. I just try to be a good friend. I may not answer their texts sometimes, but that’s mainly because I have no credit left to reply with. Sad, I know…

Categorising people are bad, my Mom said. But I don’t categorise people per se. She misunderstood me. I just categorise love. And she said she couldn’t understand my types of love. I thought I was being clear enough. Frank enough. Apparently, she didn’t think so. She still doesn’t think so.

She insists that normal people are born to feel love. Normal people are born to love. It’s natural to feel love and to be loved. But what I would like to say is: It is also common to not be born normal.

Guh. All these are hurting my braincells. I still need to finish my travel logs. I’ll probably backdate them anyway.