Yes, the image above is a proof that I’m back to my lomography obsession now.

So I’ve sent two years worth of stuff for shipping yesterday morning. My apartment now looks like a messed up playroom of some poorly organised schoolchildren. After struggling to fit my two years of life into three tea chest boxes, my body aches all over. The boxes were too high for me, so bending down in the correct way was not possible at all. I had to bend down like a dork, even stepping into the box at some point, to make sure the items stay the way I want them to. My back hurts like there’s no tomorrow because of that.

Now that the finals are around the corner (this Saturday, to be precise), I find myself thinking back to the days when we first reached Auckland. It feels like a long time ago, but it also tastes fresh in my mind still. I may be somewhat reclusive compared to most of my coursemates, but I’d like to think that I’ve had a fair share of good times with them, regardless of how limited my participation was.

I didn’t get to go places because of some limitations. My parents greatly discouraged me from traveling. “You can go back later when you’re already working. In fact, you can visit any country you want to once you’re earning some decent money on your own,” my mother once told me. I feel a little sad for not taking the opportunity to travel, but I know Mom meant well for me. I’ll be back, maybe in a couple of years if not next year for certain events where I get semi-sponsored out of luck. I’ll be traveling a lot starting from next year, so I really should not feel sad about not having the time and money to travel this year and the last.

I believe that as long as I’m alive and breathing, opportunities live with me, walking side by side with me and holding my hands. They will always wait for the right time to pull at my sleeves, so I won’t feel sad anymore.

Remembering all those little things makes me feel old. I’m no longer that girl who was paranoid all the time about what people would think about her if she were to choose a certain path. I’ve become that girl who doesn’t care about what people think about her and thinks that she at least has a right to make her own decisions.

I’d like to just extend my deepest condolences to friends who lost their loved ones in the span of two years being overseas. It must have been a great emotional challenge to go through, so I hope my feelings would somehow reach them and become a tiny portion of their strength (even if they don’t need it from me).

I can’t wait to go home. I just can’t wait.

And I’m sure this entry is just one in a series of posts relating to ‘nostalgia’ that I may possibly be writing soon.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

Starters: I’ve been so lazy to update the blog because I’ve been quite active at my Livejournal ever since I renamed my account and purchased a whole year of paid account. I can never really leave my LJ. Ever. The communities are hard to leave behind. Besides, I’ve been there for more than six years. My first account was deleted and my current account that I still use actively and love is nearing it’s sixth birthday ♥. How could I ever forget this attachment? I promise myself to get a permanent account when I start working!

So many things happened in October. I’m now done with assignments, just waiting for finals. I’m also currently really busy with packing up everything that I want to ship back to Malaysia as well as to pack everything so that I can move out early to lodge with Mira, Atie, Mint, Dzeti and Pikah to save money. Yup. Money is extremely tight now. I can’t afford to spend more than necessary. I’m still emo-ing and angsting over the fact that my dress for the formal farewell dinner cost $50 (although $50 is dirt cheap considering it’s from Max). Lol, to think that I’d willingly buy a regular Nike t-shirt for $60 and not angst about it… That really says something about my personality.

Armageddon Expo: Aside from assignments, finals, practicum presentation (that sucked like there’s no tomorrow!) and packing, Mira and I went to the Armageddon Expo on the second day of the event. I’m not fond of western comics and gaming stuff that I can’t really relate to, but my enjoyed my day oggling looking at cosplayers of my favourite series, looking around for stuff that I love (and bought two reference book for my works), blended in with the crowd and went happpy-happy-crazy at the cosplay game, blablabla. Usually I’d write more about this sort of event, but maybe I still feel shaken whenever I think about my camera that I almost lost that day at the expo. Someone found it and brought it to the information counter. I was so relieved! Whoever that kind soul was, he/she has my eternal gratitude!

Farewell Lunch: our juniors organised a farewell lunch for us last week. The food was awesome. Really awesome. It looked like a regular lunch buffet you’d have back in Malaysia, but it tasted awesome (well, it was a restaurant serving Malaysian food at Hobson Street). And the endless refill of drinks. Mmhmm. I’m so grateful for the lunch and I got to bring some back for dinner too! Oh, self, what a cheapskate!

Parnell Festival of Roses: I went to Parnell Rose Gardens with Mira and Hijrah this afternoon. The roses were all in full blossom and they were beautiful. It would have been more wonderful to gaze at the flowers without so many people there, but hey, it was a family festival! Stalls selling various items, stages where people I don’t know performed, children dancing happily to the orchestra and many more. It’s funny that I think the highlight of this event was me buying a box of takoyaki and enjoying it under the sun. I wasn’t even that hungry. It’s just that it’s takoyaki, and I haven’t had one for a long while! It was delicious~ I was tempted to get the obanyaki set too, but then my mind kept saying ‘money! money! money!’ so I didn’t buy any. Amazing how money takes precedent over healthy diet in my life, LOL. Although it was a long walk from my place (didn’t take the bus), it was enjoyable. Remind me to thank Faris for randomly telling me about this event.

Until next time.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

I’ve always known that I have some kind of fear of failures, but I didn’t think it would haunt me in my dream. Despite my dislike of writing about dreams, I find myself compelled to write this one for memory’s sake. In most of the dreams that I could remember, I was always in school or academy – the kind of environment that’s only suitable for learning. Last night was different in a way that it deals specifically with assignments. For some reason, my dream self did not submit an assignment due in January and only realised about it when it was already October. I was not sure if I truly did not submit it, or it was just my fear taking over (in the dream, of course). There was arguing and begging and pleading with the lecturer in charge of that subject.

What woke me up was the lecturer’s words, “They are all looking to catch you off guard and fail you. You know you’re finished if you fail the next one.”

I never failed a single paper in life. Not ever. I guess this is what the last semester does to me. I’m not performing as good in two of my subjects now, so the fear of failure is taking over me. It’s funny to have myself flail and squeak and freak out, unlike my previous self who would study like mad by now.

I just can’t find it in me to study so diligently like when I was in secondary school, chasing after scores and grades. The enjoyment I could gain only from studying seems to be gone somewhere. I can’t feel it anymore. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t what I should call ‘enjoyment’. It was not even ’self-accomplishment’. It’s more like a ‘drive’ to please and fulfill the desires and meet the expectations of everyone around me. I failed to realise that all along, that was my fear of getting scorned by others, mainly my parents.  This particular fear is one that binds my dreamscape to school scenarios up until now.

It’s somewhat irritating, really. Hmph, and this entry is so pointless it hurts.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

But today is like a wonderful post-birthday celebration of sorts. Our class went on a sailing trip (though we were on two separate boats). It’s the first sailing trip I’ve ever had and it’s probably going to be the last one too.  Can’t afford it otherwise (this trip was sponsored, so…). I’d rather spend the money traveling on planes to different continents if I can afford the luxury. The wind was nice. The view was nice once we get past the docks. No one got seasick~ We were practically standing on the seats.

At first, we were so in the ‘BOAT RACING!’ mood, but then the wind was too nice to even think about competing. Lol. Just before we end the trip, our boats docked side by side where everybody brought out the cakes and sang a birthday song to Akmar and I. The cakes were also meant for Eid I didn’t know there was going to be cakes. The cheesecake was awesomely delicious. Just a little bit saltier than usual but delicious nonetheless. Next comes the lunch. Fried rice from Angie’s Kitchen. The best thing was that…

…we ended up eating lunch where it says ‘No passengers on decks‘. Pfft. Just like us. Just like in the picture;  it was taken where we definitely shouldn’t be at.

This trip, I have to say, is a very memorable one for me. After the dull day yesterday, this Sunday is definitely several times more awesome.

Now I have to return to my deadly EDUC348 assignment. For some reasons, I’m not freaking out at all although I’m calling it ‘deadly’. Hmm. I must have snapped.

p.s/What’s with the sudden onslaught of Russian spams? They were in Russian before, but now the comments are in English. The comments are so funny too. Pfft.I guess spammers really do try so hard to fail at life evn though they’re already so full of fail

p.p.s/ Mom, I’m not as anti-social as you think, lol. I’m just an indoor kind of person, like a disproportionate chubby, overweight hamster that’s too comfortable in its cage ♥♥♥

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

Isn’t the cake cute? I love it. The one who made it is cute too ♥♥

Eid Mubarak! Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all Muslims around the world. I know the first of Syawal was yesterday for the most par of the world, but for us in New Zealand, it’s today on Monday. One extra day of fasting for us over here. This is my last Aidilfitri in New Zealand, yay! I miss celebrating with my family and friends.

• We had lots of food. Every apartment (or any group) brought at least one dish. Mira and I made Nasi Himpit and Kuah Kacang. Other food include cupcakes, chocolate mudcakes, assorted cookies, lontong, beef rendang, different types of rice vermicelli etc. We totaly stuffed ourselves silly (not really).
• Playing and singing to Guitar Hero on the X-Box with Sheryll. I should get the video uploaded after the internet quota is reset tonight.
• Staying back with Mira to play Scene It! with Nigel, Wira, Dyau and Faris. Most of us were guessing wildly at the most part anyway. Well, I’m totally not a movie person, so yeah… Clicking ABXY randomly is fun.
• Randomly washing the dishes and brought back leftovers from the party XD Since Mira and I are so sadly and poorly broke, we appreciate the extra food for storage. Really.
• Need to cook chicken rendang for our apartment. For our own celebration (somewhat), even though we’re broke like whoa.
• I think a certain someone should totally be disowned/banned from our cohort. I don’t care if she finds this entry. This is beyond rational. I bet she regrets being a member of Cohort 4, and I bet she thinks of most of us as lower than her standard – whatever that standard happens to be. Not that I care. Go and join your circle of friends. Go on. Don’t come to meetings with Sheryll, please. Disregarding prety much everything Cohort4 organises means you’re totally out, so go.

Regarding that old, old OLD post about Tesco Kota Bharu

One sentence from me: Shut the hell up, you racists.

I wish people would read the posting date before leaving comments, because seriously, commenting on entries over a year old makes them seem pretty stupid.

What the hell is up with random visitors from Malaysia googling for Tesco Kota Bharu and leaving retarded, simple-minded derogatory comments smelling heavily of racism on my entry written almost two years ago? Why do you care what I’ve got to say? This is my place, so I get to have my say. Go write your own blog entry, retards. I’m well aware that I’m being rude and I’m not sorry. If they can leave thoughtless comments, I can respond crudely as well.

You try building your own business empire if you’ve got so many things to say. Empty words may sound pretty to you, but they stink like rotten fish in reality. Stupid racists and stupid simpletons.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

Writing For People vs Writing For Oneself

People are hard to please. When you write for an audience, you lose your freedom of speech. What started out as ‘I write because I like this topic’ becomes ‘I write this because many people like it’. It’s horrible. It’s like you’re doing a 3000-word assignment and hoping to get A+, but in the end managing to scrap only a B+ at most (Oh my, why am I comparing this to assignments? I really need to get mine done ASAP.)

My biggest pet peeve when it comes to writing: People who literally begs for comments and reviews.

Let’s take good ol’ dumpster Fanfiction.Net. You find people begging for reviews everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Worse still, there are noobs who write comments like ‘I won’t update the story/add a new chapter until I get at least [insert number here] reviews, so READ AND REVIEW PEEPS. Kthnxbai!’. Seriously, what the effing hell is wrong with those people? That’s even worse than begging. Ordering readers you don’t even know to review your story, especially when you’re new and still struggling with grammar building readership, is a big no no. Ugh.

Right. I’m rambling. My point is that when we write for the purpose of meeting someone else’s expectations, our tone of writing is noticeably different.

The Web Hosting Scene

Why can’t we have subdomain hosting that rocks on the English speaking side of the world too? I don’t need more domain name. I want something nice and cool and isn’t long like thisismydomainlolz.TLD

I’m kind of dismayed that we don’t have services like the ones offered by Japanese companies like Lolipop, Chicappa (and all other services under GMO), Stepserver, Sakura Internet and some other hosts. They provide pretty list of domain names to choose from for your subdomain. It’s paid service, I know that. I also know that many people frown at having to pay for a subdomain hosting. Random reader who accidentally stumble upon this entry might think I’m crazy, huh.

Yes, we have many free hosting services. You can have subdomains if you don’t have a domain name but your host would have lame names that don’t mean anything to you. I wouldn’t want my site to be hosted on a subdomain with the word ‘host’ in it. It’s just so uncool. So not unique. If there’s a company offering paid subdomain hosting with great support, with choices of domain names that actually have wonderful meanings, I’d be glad to pay. What we have over here is domain name squatting. I fucking hate that lame ass strategy of buying domain names and keeping it, looking to sell it for 1 million bucks (excuse the exaggeration, please). At least develop the damn domain OR design a better looking ‘parking lot’ for the ‘oh so beautiful’ domain names. The closest I could find is the cute free hosting at Bubble.Nu. Some pretty awesome domain names available there.

The practice of holding back expired domains for years and years and years is another infuriating thing. After estdomains went poof, and the registrar of one of my domain names disappeared along with it, keeping me from renewing the domain (That guy I was dealing with was Malaysian!), I’ve been waiting for that domain name to be released. But nooooo, it just had to be kept. Fuckers.

Okay. Signing off now before I get more too aggressive offensive.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

-Before moving to Sharkspace. With WP-Super Cache half-on. Last straw? Lol -

As much as I love Media Temple, the move just needed to be made because I won’t be able to support the hosting cost. Maybe I’ll go back to it after graduating and getting my first pay, but it’s goodbye for now. Anyways, after two months of hesitating, I’ve finally made the move. I’ve moved to Shark Space because observing it for two days shows that sites hosted by Sharkspace loads faster than some other hosts I’ve been eyeing. The move, however, is not flawless.

1. Missing visual editor in Wordpress 2.8.4
I was frustrated when I couldn’t get anything done to restore it back to how it originally was. I tried re-installing wordpress, deleting and replacing wp-admin and wp-includes folder – nothing works. I thought it was permission problem. Checked the permissions and saw everything CHMODED perfectly. The SCP transfer from {mt} didn’t have trouble at all.

The only thing that worked for CT to restore the visual editor was to add the following line to wp-config.php

define( ‘CONCATENATE_SCRIPTS’, false );

I’ve never used this line before.

Oh well, I’m not the type to bother my web host until I’m damn sure it’s beyond my capabilities (but hey, Shark Space has this utterly amazing response time! I’m totally impressed~). It’s not pride. It’s just learning to be independent. For now, this seems to work. When things stop working, maybe then ‘ll find another solution or finally relent and plead for some help from the technical team XD

2. Missing directories for Add-on Domains & Subdomains
To avoid clutter, my add-on domains and subdomains are always placed outside public_html folder. The weird thing is… I couldn’t access the files inside the folders. They all seem to be missing. I thought I’d get 500 or 503 error messages when I tried to access some files directly (files that I know are there), but I got 404! I’ve deleted the domains and subdomains. I’ll try again and see what happens then.

3. SMF Database Restoration Error
Apparently, the new database doesn’t like all strings connected to the smf_shop plugin. Everything else worked fine. Just that one plugin. Something about MySQL version. I should have see this coming.  I was moving the databases from version mySQL 4 to mySQL 5. Ugh.

It would be wonderful if I can solve the missing post body problems with Junjou. If thep problem persists after the move, then maybe I’ll consider starting afresh with new content and keep the old entries in a subdirectory in case someone wants to access the old contents still.

Right. Back to work.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

I’ll blog later when the transfer processes are all done.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

- Me, with Mira and Dyau’s ’special appearances’ in the mirrors on the wall -

I totally meant my brain in the title up there. The past few days and this whole week have been filled to the brim with assignments, test, coding and whatnot. It’s a little bit overwheming and I’m getting bored of just about everything. It doesn’t make sense, but who cares?

Photoshoot: This morning, our planned class photoshoot for the Salam Perantauan was foiled by the sudden morning rain. Instead of Albert Park, we had the brief session at the Old Government House. Well, the rooms there are awesome, so I don’t actually mind. Those super cushy I’m-A-Mafia-Boss armchairs are pretty awesome too. Haha~

Dinner Slideshow: Flash died on me two hours ago when I was trying a few tricks that I thought I’d put on the dinner video (retro effects, remember?). I guess I’d give up flash for the time being and go with After Effects instead. I have the concept all planned out, but I seriously need lots of videos instead of just photos to make the video more appealing. See, I’m already calling it a video instead of a slideshow. I blame it on the awesomenes of After Effects. Totally.  Since I’ll probably be withdrawing myself from most multimedia-related works next year, I’ll try to make this slideshow stands out.

Paint Tool SAI: I have no idea why I didn’t use this software before. It’s beyond awesome. I love how easy the drawing tools glide on the canvas. The fact that it doesn’t consume a lot of memory is a big plus. Photoshop always slows down my computer and Painter loves to die on me every once in a while. Heck, Gimp sometimes performs better than Photoshop itself; that or Vista is too much of an idiot to go properly with those softwares. In just a day, SAI moves up to be the number 1 on my list of favourite softwares of all time alongside Manga Studio and Comicworks.

I have a test tomorrow and I waste my time on random things? Great.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.

My Good Ol’ Photoshop in Action (Painter tab is minimised there)
Again, it’s a Reborn! fanart. What else do I draw this past few months? Lol.

I’m finally updating this blog after a long while. My inconsistency astounds even myself, and that’s pure sarcasm right there. Hur. I’ve been updating my Livejournal, Dreamwidth and some other logs, but not my main blog. What a shame. Since I’m still lazy to construct proper paragraphs, I’ll just write in bullet points.

• Rikaichan has been pampering me way too much and now I’m lazier than ever to browse through my dictionary for unfamiliar kanji characters.
• I just realised that I can now understand 98% of fast Japanese speech in J-Dramas/Anime without looking at the dictionary. This helps when I’m watching (more like listening to, actually) Zetsubou-sensei’s random tales dripping with pure poisonous sarcasm. Who said self-teaching doesn’t pay off, huh?
• Japanese writing skills have improved at least 50% more now that I have a bilingual Japanese/English fanwork site to maintain. Replying to visitor comments, e-mails and webclap comments helps a lot.
• My drawing skills are improving steadily although they still suck like there’s no tomorrow.
• I may need to buy a new tablet before going back to Malaysia. Problem? I’m broke. Broke. BROKE!! *sobs*
• I think my Linguist 307 assignment was CRAP. Oh well, the subject IS crap anyway.
• I should be doing my Langtchg 302 assignment, but I’m still procrastinating
• I’ve been reclaiming all blog posts that I can retrieve from my old domains via Wayback Machine. It’s a great, great help. I’m feeling nostalgic just looking at those old sites. Greymatter, b2, Movable Type and Newspro days! How nostalgic indeed~
• Services offered by FC2, Ninja Tools and a few other sites ROCK!! I’ll be perusing the web for more similar awesomeness.

Before I forget:

HAPPY RAMADHAN AND HAPPY FASTING TO MYSELF AND ALL MY MUSLIM FRIENDS!

Now I wonder how long it’s going to take until my next update.

© 2009, Adlina. All rights reserved. Please link back to this page if quoted.