2007 Round-Up, 2008 Resolutions

I can hardly believe that in a few hours, I’ll be leaving 2007 behind. Basically, this also means that I’ve almost used up my 3-month-holiday not doing pretty much anything. Okay, not true, I moved around a lot. I shopped a lot too. But that’s that. My sources of income this holiday are limited to only my part-time designing projects and my t-shirt projects. That aside, 2007 is a memorable year for me. Why?

  1. My 1st year as a University of Auckland student
  2. I finally hit the big 2. I turned 20 in September, 2007.
  3. My niece and nephew now like to play with the less sociable (with kids only) me
  4. My English is improving
  5. I passed all exams and assignments
  6. 2 weeks of School-based Experience in SMK Bandar Tasik Selatan
  7. Funny how I struggled for proper, advanced Malay words during my Malaysian Studies (Ethics)  assignment presentation.  That’s how badly we’ve been pressured to communicate in English- so badly that we stutter in Malay. I wonder where all my public speaking wits went off to.
  8. I actually freaked out and almost hyperventilated right after doing each exam paper (last finals).
  9. A few *ahem* guys expressed their interests in me. But I declined them. I’m simply not ready to open up a place in my heart for anyone. Study (and blogging, ha!) comes first.
  10. I finally have my own cards to be used for online shopping! Public Bank Visa Electron and Tune Card are great!
  11. My domains stylishgeeks.net, geekdom.info, junjou.info and carameltoffee.net were registered – in that exact order. I’m really happy with the names.
  12. I made a total of US $2,586 in online activities. Small sum, but I’m happy!
  13. I lost 7 kg in 2 months with simply eating less and counting calories!

That’s for 2007. My hopes for 2008 are:

  1. Focus more on my studies. Get the desired A’s and first class degree.
  2. Find semester jobs. At least one is enough. NZ $465 is a small sum to live by. Not fair how $800 went to the accommodation only. Not counting mobile and internet bills yet. Aargh!
  3. Make more money online. Write more, play less.
  4. Update Geekdom.info as often as possible with everything learnt in a day.
  5. Update Stylish Geeks, Junjou and Caramel Toffee once a day or once every two or three days.
  6. Increase creativity.
  7. Increase blog readership.
  8. Write more useful and meaningful content.
  9. Submit quality assignments.
  10. Lose some more weight.
  11. Make lots of new blogger friends.

I hope to be able to realise all that in 2008, especially the ‘making lots of blogger friends’ part. It’s kind of lonely on my own in this big space, you know… That, and HAPPY NEW YEAR, darlingtons!

Defeating Feelings of Worthlessness

We go through this phase many times in our lives. There may be times that we feel so insecure about ourselves and many times over, we give up before even trying. If you’ve ever felt this way, don’t worry too much about it. I’ve been in similar situations too in the past, but a little new knowledge and time work wonders on me. The key to defeating the feelings of worthlessness?

Boost your self esteem!

Like it or not, your level of self-esteem defines your personality. A person with good and pleasant personality is a person who always thinks rationally. Thinking positive is good too, but only to a certain extent. The best you can do to help yourself is by rationalising – get in touch with the inner you. Here’s what you can do boost your self-esteem for a better personality and a more pleasant relationship of any kind:

1. Avoid criticising or insulting yourself when you make mistakes. Admit your mistakes, but rationalise with yourself about the nature of the mistakes. Don’t jump to telling yourselves “I can never do anything right!'” or “That’s it, I’m cursed!” or “I’m just plain stupid”. Instead, tell yourselves something like “I’ll do better next time” or “Maybe I was not careful enough. I’ll be more careful next time” or even “I’m a human too, and it’s normal for us humans to make mistakes at some points in our lives!”.

2. Cope with your problems, don’t ‘mope’ around with your problem. Thinking about problems at hand and not do anything will make it worse. Instead of feeling blue all over because of your problems, remind yourselves that there are other people out there who face more serious, life-threatening problems compared to you.

Keep in mind that the only person who can help us is ourselves. Other people can only help make we feel better, but to overcome it completely is a task we are responsible for. If we love ourselves, we have to start helping ourselves.

The Power of Tears

“There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.” – Washington Irving

I used to think that tears are the ultimate symbol of one’s weakness – his inability to cope with conflicts and troubles at hand which prompted him to cry in helplessness. It took me well over a few years to realise that tears do not make one weak. In fact, the warm drops of water from the well of the eyes have the the power to make us stronger than we were.

Don’t be afraid to cry. When were born, the first thing we did was cry. There’s nothing to be ashamed of even if you were to shed tears in a crowd full of people. To be able to cry is already courage in itself and that is something that you should be proud of. At times when you feel at your lowest, bluest, crying will help you lift some weight off your shoulders.

Take my case for example. Back when I still insisted that tears are disgusting, I could not bring myself to look at the mirror, afraid to see my face marred with helpless tears trickling down my cheeks reddened by anger. I was overcome with self-hate; when I cry, it was always because I could not contain my anger and my feelings. Needless to say, I was extremely ugly everytime I cried back then. And not to mention exceptionally loud too. There was one time that I fell asleep crying.

That one time where I fell asleep made me realise something I never paid attention to before. After crying, I felt a lot better. My head felt lighter, and I could barely remember why I was so upset in the first place. Bundled with self motivation and a little research into the world of self-healing, I found out about the ultimate healing powers in tears.

Tears can lift your mood as they alleviate the veil of darkness we put over ourselves. I have now come to realise that even though crying does not solve anything (as many people like to quote), it does help make us feel better. If we simply keep everything to ourselves, pretending to be overly happy when thetruth is the complete opposite, it would be like driving ourselves to the brink of suicide.

The bottom line is: Do not be ashamed of your tears. Let it all out and when it’s over, you’ll feel better than ever.