Lots of things happened today - both good and bad, but not really bad. I’m trying to get back to the way I write blogs in the good old days - by sections. My friends once told me they like that style of mine, so I’m trying to start it again.

The Trouble With Renewing Driving License
My driving license expired on December 27, so I thought it would be good to go and renew it today. Papa suggested I renew it for two years to make things easier, and I chose to follow his plan. The three of us (Papa, Mama and yours truly) headed for JPJ HQ to renew my license, but unfortunately, the counters won’t be open until 2.45pm (it was 12.25pm when we arrived). Break from 12.25pm to 2.45pm? That’s quite long a period. I was like ‘what the heck’ and we decided to go somewhere else first before coming back to the HQ. Just outside the building, we met my driving instructor. He said that even if we wait, I wouldn’t be able to renew my license anyway. The server is temporarily down, and whatever devices the have in the building were currently out of service. %*##$#*@?? I was fortunate, though, my instructor offered to renew my license because he’ll be coming back to the HQ a few more times this week. I’ll just have to go and collect my license from him when it’s done. Thank God! That’s one problem down.

The Trouble With Registering For Public Bank Online Banking
Unlike other cards (at other banks), registering for PB Online Banking required me going to the customer service representative, filling out a registration form, and waiting for a loooong time. No, it didn’t take more than 5 minutes to get the ID and password to access their online banking facilities. It’s just that more people keep coming to the CS table even though it’s occupied (by me!), and the rep finished theirs first because theirs were more complicated and involved a lot more pen-slashing and signing. Um, next time, how about doing the fastest and easiest and definitely less complicated first? Move from basic to complicated, you know, like David Ausubel’s receptive learning theory… I wasted more than 40 minutes when it shouldn’t be more than 10 minutes, 15 minutes maximum if you count the time I spent reading the terms of use and filling out the simple form. And the ID and password can only be used after 24 hours. Great, more waiting.

Shopping at KB Mall

Alas, the best event of my day. Spent around RM350 for a Voir/VJ Jeans jacket with faux fur neckline, a knee-length Institute skirt, a cute yellow Institute long-sleeved t-shirt, and a white Nicole blouse with black vertical stripes. Cheap huh? Of course, the Institute skirt and t-shirt went on an 80% discount and the Nicole blouse got 50% discount. Only 10% discount on the jacket, though, because it’s one of the ‘New Arrival’ items… Click the images for full view.

Well, my connection kind of went down for a few minutes today. I wonder if Streamyx is really still kicking as it claimed to. Even better (note the sarcasm, dearest), this whole site went down for about 5 minutes. If more, I would have demanded for a partial refund of my hosting payment.

It feels great to have a personal blog where I can rant about anything I want - again. I used to give up writing many times in the past, but now I should put that habit behind me. Writing is extremely crucial to me now, and extremely beneficial to my course of study. Although some may look down at the fact that what I’ learning is not ‘critical’, I do take my studies seriously. How am I ever going to become a good English teacher if I don’t even know how to write properly?

But I’m not using Caramel Toffee to write about my academic life. This is my life in general. For everything else, there are other blogs I’m currently maintaining.

Anways, I finally got my PB Card PIN number today.It’s kind of odd, really, because Saturday is supposed to be public holiday. I never knew post offices in Kelantan open during weekends too. But I’m happy, all in good time. I can finally register for online banking, and do some serious withdrawal from my PayPal account (I think I’m going to empty it, for precaution). Since the first day of getting this card, I’ve been doing some online shopping extensively. Bye bye Papa’s credit card. Hello my own card! And hello to no-hidden-charge online spending too. I can now close the PayPal account I verified using Papa’s credit card years ago.

p.s/ Are you looking for a host to host your blog or small site? Check out my free hosting page. It’s lonely being alone on a big space.

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging! I’m going to play around with the layout for a while, and then only I’ll get serious. This avatar needs cleaning up.

And I’m trying to test how the blockquote look now:

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging! I’m going to play around with the layout for a while, and then only I’ll get serious. This avatar needs cleaning up.

Okay, that’s all. I love you all.

We go through this phase many times in our lives. There may be times that we feel so insecure about ourselves and many times over, we give up before even trying. If you’ve ever felt this way, don’t worry too much about it. I’ve been in similar situations too in the past, but a little new knowledge and time work wonders on me. The key to defeating the feelings of worthlessness?

Boost your self esteem!

Like it or not, your level of self-esteem defines your personality. A person with good and pleasant personality is a person who always thinks rationally. Thinking positive is good too, but only to a certain extent. The best you can do to help yourself is by rationalising - get in touch with the inner you. Here’s what you can do boost your self-esteem for a better personality and a more pleasant relationship of any kind:

1. Avoid criticising or insulting yourself when you make mistakes. Admit your mistakes, but rationalise with yourself about the nature of the mistakes. Don’t jump to telling yourselves “I can never do anything right!’” or “That’s it, I’m cursed!” or “I’m just plain stupid”. Instead, tell yourselves something like “I’ll do better next time” or “Maybe I was not careful enough. I’ll be more careful next time” or even “I’m a human too, and it’s normal for us humans to make mistakes at some points in our lives!”.

2. Cope with your problems, don’t ‘mope’ around with your problem. Thinking about problems at hand and not do anything will make it worse. Instead of feeling blue all over because of your problems, remind yourselves that there are other people out there who face more serious, life-threatening problems compared to you.

Keep in mind that the only person who can help us is ourselves. Other people can only help make we feel better, but to overcome it completely is a task we are responsible for. If we love ourselves, we have to start helping ourselves.

“There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.” - Washington Irving -

I used to think that tears are the ultimate symbol of one’s weakness - his inability to cope with conflicts and troubles at hand which prompted him to cry in helplessness. It took me well over a few years to realise that tears do not make one weak. In fact, the warm drops of water from the well of the eyes have the the power to make us stronger than we were.

Don’t be afraid to cry. When were born, the first thing we did was cry. There’s nothing to be ashamed of even if you were to shed tears in a crowd full of people. To be able to cry is already courage in itself and that is something that you should be proud of. At times when you feel at your lowest, bluest, crying will help you lift some weight off your shoulders.

Take my case for example. Back when I still insisted that tears are disgusting, I could not bring myself to look at the mirror, afraid to see my face marred with helpless tears trickling down my cheeks reddened by anger. I was overcome with self-hate; when I cry, it was always because I could not contain my anger and my feelings. Needless to say, I was extremely ugly everytime I cried back then. And not to mention exceptionally loud too. There was one time that I fell asleep crying.

That one time where I fell asleep made me realise something I never paid attention to before. After crying, I felt a lot better. My head felt lighter, and I could barely remember why I was so upset in the first place. Bundled with self motivation and a little research into the world of self-healing, I found out about the ultimate healing powers in tears.

Tears can lift your mood as they alleviate the veil of darkness we put over ourselves. I have now come to realise that even though crying does not solve anything (as many people like to quote), it does help make us feel better. If we simply keep everything to ourselves, pretending to be overly happy when thetruth is the complete opposite, it would be like driving ourselves to the brink of suicide.

The bottom line is: Do not be ashamed of your tears. Let it all out and when it’s over, you’ll feel better than ever.